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Erik Valdman – The Art of BIM

The more you love them the more you may be hurting


Will They Ever Listen?

Here you are, with all the right intentions, wholeheartedly, trying to help them, guide them…
You have been there, you have the experience and answers, but they would not take them, and are willing to make the mistakes…worse, they are willing to fight you, but not to listen…

The more you love them the more you are hurting!

“How often do you find yourself in a situation, were others will just not listen?
They could be your children, your parents, your friends, your coworkers…”

He was a very tall man, you could not tell his age, as he had a very upright posture.

Maurice was in his eighties, and here he was sitting in front of me with a sad face:

“Erik he said, I am not a young man anymore, and despite my good health, I will not live forever…

My life has not been easy, I have overcome many obstacles, challenges and gained great knowledge and wisdom. I was  blessed with two sons and a daughter, we have been blessed with eight grandchildren, and they have grown up fast, but one thing is bothering me…

Erik I have so much to share and give, but they would not to listen to me, and honestly my life would have been complete unless I could share even some of my knowledge with them.

Honestly, I am hurting inside and I do not know what to do.”

How often do you find yourself in a situation, were others will just not listen?
They could be your children, your parents, your friends, your coworkers, your customers…

I knew what the problem was, and here is what I have told Maurice.

Maurice, you are a great man. Your family loves you dearly, and there is no doubt in their minds that you have great experience and knowledge to share. But there is something that we, all of us, have a very hard time to overcome. It is be loved, and before you close your mind to this statement, please listen carefully…our need to feel strong and important in the eyes of others is to receive their approval and their love.

You see, I believe that everything begins from Energy. Sharing and Giving always positions the “giver” above the receiver. Your children and grand children want to be loved and respected by you and by others. For that they need to take the stand of the “giver” to feel worthy of others respect and love. This is our nature, and we can not nor should fight it.

There is only one way to share knowledge and wisdom with your family and to be heard. Maurice, you have to ask them for their help first, give them the opportunity to share with you, their ideas, their experiences. Acknowledge their achievements, respect their efforts as imperfect as they may seem.

Make them feel that there is a reason for you to respect and love them. Bring them to the giving platform. And in the process of listening, you will get your opportunity to guide and share with them.

Just like a mother who wants to teach her young daughter the ways in the kitchen, could say: “Come my love, help mommy bake a pie”,  guaranteed that the respect the young child just received would be enough to open up to learning. As now, giving up her toys makes scene…

There was a big smile on Maurice’s face, as if he has just got a nights sleep…he held my hand and said:
“ My son, I will Try”.

Often it is not only about the knowledge of “How to”, but the Energy “To Do” it…
Energy, Awakening new life perspective!

It will not be easy at first, as often you may have to give up proving others wrong, proving yourself right, showing how important you are in their lives…but to do the exact opposite and simply ask for their help and make them feel important!

Have you had similar moments in your life…with your Children, Parents, Friends, Business?

Go ahead and try this simple way…
than, please share your story here for all of us to learn from…

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